Expect Less

When it comes to psychopaths and similarly disordered people, let’s lower our expectations to the bare bottom, and plan accordingly. Then, if & when they do anything apparently positive, it'll be a welcome (or not) turn of events, instead of constant disappointment & disintegration of our best laid plans.

What about court-appointed visitations, or monies ordered but not forthcoming? Get used to making a “Plan B”; get into the habit, expect it.

What about when we make plans and the narcissist or psychopath intervenes? Weigh the pros & cons, especially in light of smart-made plans in the first place (practice will help make perfect). If it makes sense to change the plan because of the psychopath whose plan or lack thereof attempts to demand it, then go ahead (document the accommodation); if not, then hold steadfast, in the calmest, most level-headed & firm righteousness musterable. Keeping a smile on one’s face while negotiating this, regardless of whether or not s/he can see it, will go a long way toward a successful outcome.

Changing our perspectives to the reverse, isn’t it more gratifying to conservatively commit and then happily surprise than to overly optimistically commit and then sadly disappoint? Promise near the minimum, and come out even or ahead. Expect nothing, and get what we planned for or possibly much more.

Granted, it's far more financially involved for exes, especially with children. It stinks that these direly disordered people get away with what they do, while we suffer insult after insult to our psyches & pocketbooks. Let’s look forward to the day when we are all doing well, that awareness of psychopathy and the damage they do and preventive measures pervade our population.

That day really will come. We will make sure it does, won’t we?