Guilt has a place in our lives, which is why we empaths feel it. It is not for dwelling in and shaming ourselves, but for alerting us to a wrong we’ve committed, intended or not, so as to make amends to our best ability, and proceed to remedy that which is within us in an effort to do better the next time we’re presented a similar situation. So long as we do that we are learning and growing, not to mention modeling the behavior for those in our care so that they, too, can know how to learn and grow, make amends and forgive themselves.
Sometimes an apology is enough; sometimes it’s just a beginning. Ever wonder why sometimes when we say, “I'm sorry,” that the recipient still exhibits hurt or anger? That’s because we may need to complete the cycle of amends. The process goes like this:
1. Recognize we’ve hurt someone, intentionally or not.
2. Apologize.
3. Offer and follow through on any possible, preferably mutually agreeable, amends.
4. Request forgiveness. If we don’t get it on the first try, then ask what, if anything, would earn it. Evaluate the response, and act accordingly, depending upon how reasonable the request is to us.
5. Ultimately, forgive ourselves, and work on anything necessary within ourselves that may decrease the likelihood of committing the offense again.
We empaths have a tendency to earn our own forgiveness, whether or not we grant it to ourselves.
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